Financial Dreams and Google Ads

Dream of Paper Airplanes
I had a dream last night that I was eating lunch at a cafe, and the owner of the cafe was hosting an auction. The auction was for the work of a local artist who made paper sculptures: paper cars, paper boats, paper fetuses, paper rocks. All the sculptures were made of paper that was twirled into tight rolls, like cigarettes, and then sown together using white thread. I was sipping my coffee, watching people bid $20 and $30 for items. It all seemed congenial, until the paper airplane was put on the action block.

It was a biplane with movable parts and the wingspan of a grown man, hands outstretched, one of those planes the Wright Brothers flew, or that you saw in WWI videos. It had and the word Freedom written on the side in block letters, created from small rolls of paper. A woman in an evening gown, trying to act casual as she smoked a long cigarette, bid $20 for the plane. I wanted the plane, however, and immediately bid $50. A man with a tipped cap said $100. It was obvious that we all needed the plane. I thought about the money in my bank account, did some quick calculations, and bid $200, even though I knew it would mean a lean month. The woman bid $500. I thought about my credit cards, and because I have a lot of space on them now, I went to $1,000. The man with the tipped cap grew angry and bid $5,000. The woman in the evening gown started crying and said $10,000. I was desperate. Knowing that I would max out everything, that I wouldn't be able to pay off the debt, knowing that I would be financially trapped for the rest of my life, I stood up and shouted $20,000. The man with the tipped hat and the woman in the evening gown howled, and I howled, as the auctioneer handed me the paper airplane called Freedom.

Then my GF woke me up.

Anyway.

I'm SO amused by the ads that Google has decided to place. The ones I've seen are for an "Are You Gay?" quiz and a "Composting Toilet Blog." Google ads are kind of the modern day fortune teller, a virtual Tarot deck. The idea for the Tarot deck, from a Wiccan angle (I'm not Wiccan, but my scattered reading gives me wide and shallow knowledge), is that a good Tarot reader will get to know their subject a little and try to act as a conduit for their life story. The reader shuffles the cards and lays them out in prescripted patterns, and the cards, each of which has a story, are supposed to reflect a story in the subject’s life. The theory goes that a good Tarot reader will be so in tune with their cards and the subject and the universe and their cat that they will subconsciously guide the cards to accurately reflect the subject’s future. It's actually a very therapeutic exercise, and even if you’re completely secular can be a helpful device to examine your life. The Freudian angle is that your reaction to the cards is what counts: i.e. why, when you saw the FATE card, did you think of your mother dying? Etc.

So, back to Google ads. Google ads are a scientific fortune teller, which tries to understand your Blog from an objective (although strangely spiritual) algorithm, and then spits out an ad (or card), that reflects your life.

Which makes me laugh, because while I'm not gay, I'm certainly not straight, so even though I don’t think I’ve mentioned anything wrt homosexuality, I’m delighted Google has ciphered all my words and come up with the question, “Are You Gay?” It’s okay, Google: whether or not I’m gay, I’m secure, but thanks for asking... And, even more amusing, what does the "Composting Toilet Blog" say about my impressions of this blog???

Thoughts for another day. I'd better get to work.